few days ago came out dining with friends conversation, of why a mother leaves a child? (Conversation almost certainly never have been, the situation we have today). Everyone present gave varied responses and opinions, some were more radical positions and more flexible ... The fact is that it gave me some thoughts I'd like to share this space with you, and of course, with my future hij @, this logbook, which is his own but still do not know.
response to a question like this, of why a mother leaves a child? the first thing that comes to my head, is that we are nobody to question this decision is not trivial. All present We lived a life of ease and comfortable and do not think we have the right to come to easy moralizing who have it all.
Sometimes life tests us and what we think we do not ever do at any given time, taking a decision, although not entirely successful. But being in the shoes of another (the mother) is very difficult because it involves understanding the "reasons" that led him to make that decision, and speaking from a distance or lack of knowledge makes it much easier opine, decide, criticize others . We find it almost impossible from within us we know how that mother felt at that time, she may not forgive in the life decision. So I better not judge another, you may ask what reasons had and know their status.
From my experience and given the situation I have, I think it is better to give a child up for adoption leave, as almost always be people like us who want to adopt. Women in difficult situations may arise several options including abortion, and in extreme cases "get rid" of the baby born .... But there are women who decide to give it up for adoption, although it should not be a pleasant drink, perhaps the best option in all the few options that you probably have this woman to give that child a future is this an act of love? "Give Adoption is an act of love?
is common to find the doors of hospitals, institutions, etc., In abandoned baby wrapped in the cold and warm, all alone. Our @ hij @ born of that circumstance or some similar, but born of an abandonment, of loneliness imposed by a decision of a birth mother where he drowned her circumstances and dedicated themselves to make that fatal decision. For us the paradoxes of life! is not fatal.
not know the decision to bring that child into this world, we do not know if it was determined or imposed, we do not know if the result of rape or for the exercise of prostitution, or has been imposed by relatives, parents, religion, creed, politics, etc.. We do not know if they are coerced and / or culturally conditioned, or labor, or even undergoing a strict policy of birth. Nor are we clear if they have access to contraception, or if you know, what is a contraceptive. Even if the child is born determines the survival of their siblings and even their own parents. All these questions and a thousand more, we should take them into account before issuing an opinion. In short we need a little empathy, and not look to the crystal stability and abundance from where we were educated, reared and of course, as a person. Sara
Reading Bit in his book Coming of rain, which sometimes I feel completely identified as expressing their feelings. Women adopter in China, where there like in every country has its idiosyncrasies, a country is heavily punished the abandonment of a child bringing a child into the world, give it up and have the courage to leave it where it could be found immediately. There are many women who take risks and leave their daughters to a public somewhere, say some travelers even all that allows your money and forces to leave their children in richer areas and provide a better future.
In an article published in The Guardian on September 19, 2003, Chinese journalist Xinran told the story of how the nearest hospital was a girl who had left in a public place in Zhangzhou. He made history in radio and after ten days the baby's mother left a message on the answering machine. The British newspaper reproduced the words of the woman who had left her daughter with a journalist:
"" Xinran, I am the mother of the girl. He was born just a few days before the rescuers. Thank you for taking my daughter to the hospital. I watched from the crowd with a broken heart. I followed and sat all day in front of your radio station. Many, many times you almost screamed "That's my daughter." I know that many people hate me, I still hate myself. But you do not know how hard life of a girl in the field (*) as first daughter of a poor family. When I saw their bodies battered by hard work and cruel men, I promised myself that I let my daughter is doomed to a life without hope. His father is a good man, but we can not go against our family and the people. We have a child to the family tree. Oh, I run out of coins, there are only two minutes. It's so expensive. We can not read or write. But if you can, please tell my daughter in the future to remember this, no matter how many laps of life, my love will live in your blood and my voice in your heart (it sounded like crying at this point). Please ask your new family that loves like his own daughter. I will pray for them every day and ... "(The line went dead)
response to a question like this, of why a mother leaves a child? the first thing that comes to my head, is that we are nobody to question this decision is not trivial. All present We lived a life of ease and comfortable and do not think we have the right to come to easy moralizing who have it all.
Sometimes life tests us and what we think we do not ever do at any given time, taking a decision, although not entirely successful. But being in the shoes of another (the mother) is very difficult because it involves understanding the "reasons" that led him to make that decision, and speaking from a distance or lack of knowledge makes it much easier opine, decide, criticize others . We find it almost impossible from within us we know how that mother felt at that time, she may not forgive in the life decision. So I better not judge another, you may ask what reasons had and know their status.
From my experience and given the situation I have, I think it is better to give a child up for adoption leave, as almost always be people like us who want to adopt. Women in difficult situations may arise several options including abortion, and in extreme cases "get rid" of the baby born .... But there are women who decide to give it up for adoption, although it should not be a pleasant drink, perhaps the best option in all the few options that you probably have this woman to give that child a future is this an act of love? "Give Adoption is an act of love?
is common to find the doors of hospitals, institutions, etc., In abandoned baby wrapped in the cold and warm, all alone. Our @ hij @ born of that circumstance or some similar, but born of an abandonment, of loneliness imposed by a decision of a birth mother where he drowned her circumstances and dedicated themselves to make that fatal decision. For us the paradoxes of life! is not fatal.
not know the decision to bring that child into this world, we do not know if it was determined or imposed, we do not know if the result of rape or for the exercise of prostitution, or has been imposed by relatives, parents, religion, creed, politics, etc.. We do not know if they are coerced and / or culturally conditioned, or labor, or even undergoing a strict policy of birth. Nor are we clear if they have access to contraception, or if you know, what is a contraceptive. Even if the child is born determines the survival of their siblings and even their own parents. All these questions and a thousand more, we should take them into account before issuing an opinion. In short we need a little empathy, and not look to the crystal stability and abundance from where we were educated, reared and of course, as a person. Sara
Reading Bit in his book Coming of rain, which sometimes I feel completely identified as expressing their feelings. Women adopter in China, where there like in every country has its idiosyncrasies, a country is heavily punished the abandonment of a child bringing a child into the world, give it up and have the courage to leave it where it could be found immediately. There are many women who take risks and leave their daughters to a public somewhere, say some travelers even all that allows your money and forces to leave their children in richer areas and provide a better future.
In an article published in The Guardian on September 19, 2003, Chinese journalist Xinran told the story of how the nearest hospital was a girl who had left in a public place in Zhangzhou. He made history in radio and after ten days the baby's mother left a message on the answering machine. The British newspaper reproduced the words of the woman who had left her daughter with a journalist:
"" Xinran, I am the mother of the girl. He was born just a few days before the rescuers. Thank you for taking my daughter to the hospital. I watched from the crowd with a broken heart. I followed and sat all day in front of your radio station. Many, many times you almost screamed "That's my daughter." I know that many people hate me, I still hate myself. But you do not know how hard life of a girl in the field (*) as first daughter of a poor family. When I saw their bodies battered by hard work and cruel men, I promised myself that I let my daughter is doomed to a life without hope. His father is a good man, but we can not go against our family and the people. We have a child to the family tree. Oh, I run out of coins, there are only two minutes. It's so expensive. We can not read or write. But if you can, please tell my daughter in the future to remember this, no matter how many laps of life, my love will live in your blood and my voice in your heart (it sounded like crying at this point). Please ask your new family that loves like his own daughter. I will pray for them every day and ... "(The line went dead)
Who, after reading this story is questionable that the abandonment is also an" act of love "?
I can not read these words of the desperate mother without getting excited. I try to empathize the pain you must feel a mother / father to be separated from your daughter, and if not Think about it objectively, what has to feel that you are biological parent and you had to fall off "forever in your child by the circumstances of the moment? Crazy.
(*) The suicide rate among Chinese women in rural areas is the highest in the world. As I read more than two million Chinese attempt suicide each year and at least three hundred thousand succeed. (Probably the number of suicides that do not come to light is even higher)
I can not read these words of the desperate mother without getting excited. I try to empathize the pain you must feel a mother / father to be separated from your daughter, and if not Think about it objectively, what has to feel that you are biological parent and you had to fall off "forever in your child by the circumstances of the moment? Crazy.
(*) The suicide rate among Chinese women in rural areas is the highest in the world. As I read more than two million Chinese attempt suicide each year and at least three hundred thousand succeed. (Probably the number of suicides that do not come to light is even higher)
Postscript: Well
hij @ mine, I'll always be eternally grateful to your biological parents for giving you life, for having thought in your well-being, ultimately for having loved and wanted to give a better life than they had had. Maybe not better but more opportunities.
Thank you from a distance.
hij @ mine, I'll always be eternally grateful to your biological parents for giving you life, for having thought in your well-being, ultimately for having loved and wanted to give a better life than they had had. Maybe not better but more opportunities.
Thank you from a distance.
Your father.
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